Intrusive Thoughts Aren't a Sign Something Is Wrong With You
If you have ever had a thought so strange, so dark, or so out of character that you wondered what kind of person could think such a thing, I want you to take a moment to breathe and hear this: there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not alone.
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that arrive uninvited. They might be violent, sexual, blasphemous, or quite simply bizarre. Research tells us that nearly everyone experiences them. Most people notice the thought, feel a flicker of "huh, that was weird," and carry on with their day.
For some of us, though, the thought lands differently. We get hooked. We ask ourselves, "Why did I think that? What does it mean about me? Could that really be true?” And the more we ask, the louder the thought becomes.
Why some thoughts get stuck
Here is something I share with almost everyone I work with: thoughts are not who we are, and while they are real, they are not always true. I like to think of thoughts as events in the mind, just like weather passing through the sky.
The trouble begins when we treat a thought as dangerous or a threat to our well-being. Our nervous system responds as if there is a real threat. We might try to push the thought away, argue with it, seek reassurance, or avoid the places and people connected to it. These strategies make sense, and they come from a part of you that is trying very hard to keep you safe. Unfortunately, they also teach your brain that the thought truly is a threat, which invites it to return with more force.
If this cycle has taken over hours of your day, it may be part of obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD is far more common, and far more workable, than most people realize.
What actually helps
In my practice, I bring together two things that anxious, looping minds need at the same time.
The first is evidence-based treatment. I am trained in Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which is the standard treatment for OCD, along with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Gently and always at your pace, we practice letting thoughts be there without performing the mental gymnastics that keep them coming back with more power and force.
The second is a kinder relationship with yourself. Through mindfulness and self-compassion practices, you learn to observe a thought without becoming it, and to meet the fear underneath with warmth and curiosity rather than shame. In my experience, this is what makes our work together sustainable and friendly. You are not going to war with your mind. You are learning to stop treating your mind like an enemy, and start relating to it with more understanding and patience.
A gentle first step
If a thought has been circling for a while, you might try this today: instead of asking "why am I thinking this," try quietly naming it. "There is that thought again." Or, “my mind is telling that story again.” No fixing, no arguing, just noticing. It sounds small, and it is the beginning of a very different relationship with your mind.
And if you are ready for support, I would be glad to meet you. I work with teens 13 and up and with adults, online across BC and in person in Nanaimo. We can begin with a free 20 minute consultation, which is simply a relaxed chat to see if we are a good fit.
Your thoughts are not the truest thing about you. Underneath all the noise, your true nature is always there, ready to meet you with the kindness and support you deserve.
