Mindfulness

It’s early September and the the leaves are just barely turning yellow, and the light is shining a little paler. This is a time of year where it feels like an ending is nearing and the early September days bringing change and new beginnings.

It’s a nice feeling, even though the problems of my life surround me (financial uncertainty, challenging relationships with loved ones, health issues and grief and stress about the state of our world). And yet, there is a presence of mind that allows me to appreciate the light dancing through the leaves of the alder outside my window, and take in the sounds of birdsong, a breath that returns me back into my body. And even though this moment is fraught with so much “not rightness” …

This moment is a moment I can open to.

My first real experience with mindfulness was in 2017 while taking the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course. Prior to 2017 I had attended some workshops and retreat style experiences that promised the stillness and beauty of a spiritual way of being, but lacked the true genuineness required to sustain my curiosity and interest.

This was the first time I had the opportunity to practice in a secular setting that was simply about training my mind, and learning how to meditate. And yet, despite the course being rooted in evidence based research I found the discussions and practices poetic and reverent in nature.

Initially, like so many others, I struggled with how full my mind was with erroneous information. And I say initially – still my mind produces all sorts of material worth gawking at. Although, now I take that content way less seriously than I did before.

In the early days of learning mindfulness a misconception I had, and a refrain I often heard from my peers and now in the classes I teach is “my mind is just too busy and full” and “I’ll never be able to stop thinking.”

There are two points here that I find interesting and are often highlighted in mindfulness based education. The first one being the story of I, Me, Mine. Right away you start to learn in mindfulness based practice YOUR mind is like all minds. Your mind with all its neurosis and contingency planning is not alone, and with practice we can start to see and experience that we ALL share this engrained habit to be hooked by thinking, problem solving, day dreaming, fixating, etc.

And the second point to highlight Is that all minds have the nature to think, endlessly, .and the purpose of bringing mindfulness to the present moment is not to stop thinking, but to become aware of thinking.

So, put quite simply, the thinking mind is not a problem in mindfulness based learning, it is an object of our attention that we come to know, understand and eventually with practice forgive (over and over again).

Mindfulness has changed my life in countless ways, but probably the most noticeable shift has been in the way that I talk to myself. I’ve always been unnecessarily hard on myself about getting it right in life. Always the rhetoric of you should be doing more, trying harder, say this, say that, be everything to everyone, and all that jazz. It’s been a perpetual cycle of surviving my drill sergeants unrealistic and cold demands and eventually collapsing into futility, exhaustion and an unexplainable sadness.

After almost 9 years of practice that undercurrent of criticism has slowed to a bed in the river where I can wade in the current. My mindfulness practice has softened the voice of the drill sergeant and helped me to respond to those narratives with greater understanding, compassion and gentleness. An excerpt from a poem I love by Naomi Shibab Nye illustrates this best

“…Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore, only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread, only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say It is I you have been looking for, and then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend.”

So what is mindfulness?

I’ll quote the great Jon Kabat Zinn who is the founder of the MBSR program and truly was a pioneer in bringing mindfulness to the west.

"Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally."

Or my favourite definition by Shauna Shapiro and Deborah Carlson:

“Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through intentionally attending in an open, kind and discerning way.”

Each of these definitions points to a way of paying attention that allows for curiosity and allowing of our present moment experience. Practically speaking there are different ways you can practice mindfulness, and it doesn’t have to be cross legged sitting on a mountaintop (unless thats your thing ;).

Observing our experience in the present moment can be done while driving, eating, brushing your teeth, doing the dishes, being in nature, as well while speaking and listening. And the list goes on! I love this practice because it teaches a way of being, rather than a skill to acquire only during certain experiences.

More formal practices of mindfulness would include a sitting meditation practice, body scan practice, (the body scan and sitting meditation can be done standing, lying down, etc), and walking meditation practice.

Dr Amishi Jha shares the science and benefits behind training and cultivating your attention and how her research shows that 12 minutes of stillness a day can build your attentional capacity over time.

So, there are reasons to practice, and everyone who decides to take up a mindfulness practice has their own reasons. Maybe they start to practice mindfulness to help them cope more effectively with stress, or to help them have more meaningful relationships, or to learn how to be kinder and more compassionate to their pain and suffering.

Many who come to find this practice begin to recognize our shared humanity, and the interconnectedness that binds us all together. Their practice might ignite a calling greater than themselves that motivates them to practice not only to benefit themselves, but for the greater benefit of all beings.

Vietnamese Monk Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us that it is precisely when things are difficult that we need our practice the most.  

“When we look at all the suffering around us, at poverty, violence, or climate change, we may want to solve these things immediately. We want to do something. But to do something effectively and ethically, we need to be our best selves in order to be able to handle the suffering.”

So what brings you to this moment? What is your ‘why?’

My invitation to you is to notice one thing, in this moment. It could be the sound of your breath, the light through your window, or the sensation of your feet touching the ground.

What are you noticing?

What happens in your body as you bring your attention to this area?

What’s it like?

How are you relating to this moment?

Perhaps this is where your ‘why’ begins…